Administrative Professionals and Respect - Getting It and Giving It is Crucial

Getting and Giving Respect as an Administrative Professional

By Karen Porter

Publisher/Editor, The Effective Admin

Respect is an important issue to many administrative professionals who don't feel they get any or enough. But respect is not really an admin exclusive issue (though yes, I know it feels like it sometimes). I've met executives and managers who don't get respect too. A lot of them. I bet you have too. Even I experience disrespect as a publisher. As the publisher of The Effective Admin website, ezine and store materials I get some really nice letters, even positive testimonials about The Effective Admin . (Thank you, writers).

But I also get a couple letters a month that range from mildly sarcastic to vicious (from people I've never met or personally corresponded with ever). Examples? This reader only stayed with The Effective Admin free e-zine for 13 days (one issue?) before she unsubscribed with this comment:

"I don't want to spoil your day and write a nasty comment...I'm just unsubscribing, that's all."
Elena [Editor's Note: I withheld full name for privacy]

[Editor's Take Home Lesson For Readers: Who says you can't learn anything from negative writers. That's a great example above of "passive aggression"---someone saying they won't say anything nasty by writing it indirectly anyway. That's like telling someone at work that you hate the color yellow and then you turn around and tell them they have on a lovely yellow dress. Passive aggressiveness has no place on the job ever. Neither does plain aggression. Strive for assertiveness for administrative professionals.]

Here is another one-month, single issue subscriber who apparently hated the free issue of the The Effective Admin Briefs last month:

SUBSCRIBER WROTE:
"This newsletter did not meet my “expectations” – this is really for an entry level ADMIN in my opinion. Any one who has been an Admin for any length of time understands Adobe. I do not find that this particular ezine (some more junk mail in by already busy email box) will have an impact on my performance or have value add influence on my organizational skills."
Jean CPS [Editor's Note: I withheld full name for privacy]
Sr. Administrative Assistant

[Editor's Take Home Lesson For Readers: First, be aware that both of the above writers were writing to me unsolicited about a free e-zine they freely opted in to---no one twisted their arm to make them subscribe or read it. And both readers only read one issue of the e-zine ever.

Regarding the last letter above...If you recall, in addition to writing about Adobe last month I also wrote a strong article about "expectations vs. entitlement". Since the writer above wrote "expectations" at the beginning of her response and put it in quotes, I suspect there is another example of passive aggressiveness going on here.

Another irony and lesson here...two new subscribers to the same free ezine wrote to me that week who needed help with understanding how and why to use Adobe Reader®---just what that negative reader above was getting on my case about because I DID write about that topic. So another lesson here is never assume someone, in your own office for instance, knows how to do something that seems elementary to you. Show them, no matter how mundane the task might seem to you, and you might find the favor returned one day when you need help. That's not only helping someone but it's "building relationships", which is important in your career as well as your job productivity (because others can affect both of these areas for better or worse down the road). Be remembered as personable and helpful.

I responded to this same reader mentioned above with some explanation about why I choose different levels of articles and suggested that some of the articles in future issues might be more advanced. But my pleasant tone and aim to please my reader only got me more rudeness with this put-down:

SUBSCRIBER RESPONDED:
Karen

I do not anticipate that the content will be of benefit. I already receive superior information from a professional organization I belong to."
Jean [Editor's Note: I withheld full name for privacy]
============

Wow...this reader exemplified one more trait that doesn't belong in the workplace or in correspondence: Arrogance.

The word "superior" is a harmless and useful word when used with care (e.g. the Superior Court, or "Holy moley...that was a superior tasting piece of chocolate. Can I have another one?") On the other hand, if you're in a foul mood or making a negative statement, then be careful about using a word like "superior" to express yourself. You don't want to use it in a manner that might be perceived as arrogant or as an indirect put-down---because the words you choose to use also affect your personal and professional image. Your words help form others perceptions of you. (And as you can see words put in writing live on for a long time, so be especially careful when you write correspondence or other documents that you show yourself sincerely but in a good light. YOU play a huge role in what image others form of you. What do YOU want that image to be and why?)

But let's get back specifically to the topic of respect...

If you don't feel respected on the job as an administrative professional, work within your means to correct it and attain it. But remember, everyone is the butt of disrespect at times. Don't take it personally. Whether the disrespect was intentional or unintentional (and sometimes it may be the latter), the issue usually lies with the person handing out disrespect, not with the recipient.

Maybe that person is having a bad day (e.g. They brought their emotional problems to work--that happens all the time).

Maybe that person is ignorant in the most literal sense (in which case you have a chance to educate them about what you do--but don't be disappointed if they don't get it. Not everyone is ready to listen and learn on your schedule. As the old adage goes "don't try to beat a dead horse.").

Maybe that person has terrible tact and diplomacy skills (Obviously, you can't do anything about that one so just accept that they have a raw, blunt personal workplace style and don't take it personally.).

Or maybe that person is just a mean person (a tougher, more complicated scenario to resolve that might even get into legal issues depending on the type of disrespect you're being shown such as harassment; therefore I won't address it in this short space).

Savvy administrative professionals might receive disrespect at times but they never dish it back out. Some benefits to you for doing this:

self respect,
impeccable professional image (which IS how others perceive you at work--"what you see is what you get" to associates who do not know you intimately),
personal satisfaction,
leadership qualities,
and no burned bridges---a networking faux pas that can haunt you at the most inopportune times and in the most unexpected places.

Never disrespect anyone in-person or in email, which by the way is also called "flaming" in Net lingo. It's a waste of YOUR energy and nothing positive can come of it; unless you're a publisher and writer of a certain admin newsletter who can use such examples as teaching examples for savvy admins who want to excel on the job and in their careers. It's great to learn from your own mistakes but it hurts a lot less to learn from others' mistakes; then you DON'T make them in the first place. Observe and learn.

Resources:

Tip Sheet #3: How to Get More Respect at the Office as an Administrative Professional Starting Today!

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