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10 Effective Ways to Remember Names
By Scott Ginsberg
Sigmund Freud says “a person’s name is the single context of human memory
most apt to be forgotten.” Feelings of embarrassment and social ineptitude
are conveyed through this forgetfulness, and unfortunately, the problem
persists daily. The ability to remember names is an important skill that
gives you an advantage in social and business settings. However, the way you
associate and remember names is based on your learning style and personality
type.
The following list of ten effective ways to remember names combines visual,
aural and strategic techniques. Once you find the best fit for you, it will
become easier to avoid muttering the most awkward and impersonal sentence in
the English language: “Hey you!”
Repetition, Repetition, Repetition
As soon as you hear their name, repeat it back to the person. “It’s good to
finally meet you, Karen—I hear you’re the expert on mufflers.”
If you don’t do this, you will forget her name within ten seconds of meeting
her. Also be sure to repeat the name aloud in the beginning, during and at
the end of the conversation. This will allow you to widen various areas of
your memory circuit.
“That’s a great story Stephanie!” “Wow Tony, you obviously know your
hockey.” If you speak the name, hear the name, and listen to yourself say
the name, you will remember it.
Inquiry
The number one rule in interpersonal communication is to show a genuine
interest in the other person. So, ask your new colleague to explain the
personal significance of their name. Ask if they go by a nickname. Inquire
about the culture from which their name was derived. The spelling question
is also effective. Even if Dave or Bob is only spelled one way you can
always ask if they prefer “Dave,” “David,” “Bobby” or “Robert.”
In so doing, you show them you care about them as a person. You also
transform their name from an arbitrary fact into a meaningful representation
of them. Ultimately, you will flatter them and make them feel appreciated.
Dramatize Faces
You probably remember faces better than you remember names. Great! This will
only make it easier when you dramatize someone’s face and associate facial
feature with their name. For example, if their nose or hair is particularly
memorable, make a connection using alliteration with their name. Brian has
bright red hair. Lucy has a long nose.
The trick is to make your associations and dramatizations memorable and
interesting. Remember, that which is exaggerated and ridiculous is
memorable.
Forget About You
“Did I give him the ‘cold fish’ handshake?” “Did I even look into her eyes?”
“Do you think she noticed the logo on my company briefcase?” If you try too
hard to make a good first impression, odds are you will have no idea to whom
you make a good first impression to!
So don’t think about yourself! Forget about you! Concentrate on them. When
you become too self-conscious and nervous during the moment of introduction,
it will interfere with your memory.
Write Them Down
If you are a visual learner, write down the name of the person. This is a
flawless method to remember. Most networking functions and meetings take
place where tables, pens and paper are available.
Throughout the conversation, look down at the name in front of you, and then
look at the person. Maria. Then look at the name again. Maria. Then look at
the person again. Maria. You’ll never forget.
The additional benefit when you do this, unbeknownst to you, is that at
least one other person in your group will see you write the name down. Talk
about a good first impression!
Inner Monologue
Imagine you’ve already used Samantha’s name during the conversation. You
seem to have it committed to memory. Then again, you don’t want to overuse
her name aurally. Even if a person’s name is the sweetest sound they will
ever hear, you don’t want to make it too obvious that you use the repetition
trick.
Fortunately, there are countless opportunities during the conversation to
quickly say the name to yourself while you look at their face: while they
get a pen, while they take a drink, while they get something out of their
desk, while they laugh at your hilarious joke.
It only takes a few seconds to look at someone and silently think to
yourself, “Samantha. Samantha. Samantha.” Don’t worry; you won’t miss
anything if you choose to do this at the appropriate times.
Introduce Someone Else
“Have you met my coworker Patty?” you ask the nameless person. “I don’t
believe I have,” he says, “My name is Roger. It’s nice to meet you Patty.”
Roger. That’s his name! You thought it was Antonio! Thank God you introduced
him to someone else or you would be floating up the eponymous creek.
Furthermore, if you introduce someone you just met to another person, it
allows you to: take control of the conversation, show your willingness to
encourage connections and expand someone else’s network of colleagues.
Listen and Look for Name Freebies
More often than not, you won’t be the only person who knows the name of your
new colleague. This means that other people will say their name, and you
will be reminded. No charge. All you have to do is pay attention.
Also remember to keep your eyes open for subtle, visual reminders such as
business cards, receipts, nametags, jewelry, table tents and personal
papers. Without getting too nosey, it will be easy to identify these “name
freebies” that paint you out of your memory corners.
These ten effective techniques to remember names will be helpful to cross
the chasm between you and a potential colleague or associate. When you
identify and amplify someone’s name, you won’t suffer a loss of face.
Ultimately, your interactions and conversations will become more personal
and comfortable.
Practice. Practice. Practice. That’s the hard part. But over time you will
learn how these different techniques for name memory will work best for you.
Attitude. Attitude. Attitude. That’s the easy part. However, while practice
enhances your name memory over time, it only takes a few seconds to decide
to change your attitude. Don’t yourself that you can’t remember names. In
fact, from this moment on, you are no longer bad with names. Combine this
new attitude with your recently acquired skills, and you’ll never have to
say “Hey you!” again.
© 2005 All Rights Reserved.
About the author:
Scott Ginsberg is a professional speaker, "the world's foremost field expert
on nametags" and the author of HELLO my name is Scott and The Power of
Approachability. He works with people and organizations who want to become
UNFORGETTABLE communicators - one conversation at a time.
For more information contact Front Porch Productions at
http://www.hellomynameisscott.com.
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