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Noble Poverty and Underearning
By Mikelann Valterra, MA
Are you tired
of not making enough money? Or do you suspect you are earning below your
potential? If so, you may be “underearning”. Underearning is the pattern of
consistently not earning enough money. This column aims to explore many
facets of underearning, from the belief systems around it, to what to do
about making more.
In order to overcome underearning, it is necessary to first pinpoint your
own underearning behavior, which we looked at in the first column. But then
it is important to understand why we do what we do. It is nearly impossible
to take action to bring in more money if we do not explore the beliefs that
may be keeping us from making money in the first place. “Noble poverty” is
one such belief system that I believe needs to be explored, if one is trying
to earn more money.
Simply put, underearners fall into noble poverty when they feel that there
is some virtue in not having money. People wrapped up in noble poverty tend
to believe, unconsciously, that there is something wrong with money, that it
is somehow dirty or tainted. Therefore, in order to be a “good” person, one
should stay away from, or be above, money. If you believe in noble poverty,
or aspects of it, you will probably not allow yourself to earn a lot of
money, or you may repel the money that does come into your life.
While the internal beliefs of underearners wrapped up in noble poverty can
be complicated and laced with contradictory messages, the basic foundation
remains constant — underearners have a love/hate relationship with money.
They may like the things money can buy or enjoy the freedom money would give
them, but because they find something inherently wrong with having money,
they shy away from acquiring it.
Underearners who live a life of noble poverty often follow the maxim: “It is
better to be good and poor, than rich and evil.” In fact, many underearners
dislike and mistrust those who have acquired wealth. They often assume that
anyone who has made a lot of money must be unscrupulous, or the way in which
the wealthy made their money must be unethical, or rich people in general
cannot be “nice” people.
Sound a bit farfetched? Well, it’s not. Take a moment to consider this:
While you may think you don’t have anything against the wealthy, have you
ever said something derogatory about someone who is very well off? Bill
Gates? Ted Turner? Oprah? In Barbara Stanny’s book Secrets of Six Figure
Women, she writes about an AARP survey of money attitudes that was done of
twenty-three hundred people over the age of eighteen—a full 40 percent of
the women felt people who have a lot of money “are greedy, insensitive, and
feel superior.” Underearners make negative assumptions about those with
money because a part of them finds having money to be objectionable.
Therefore they can stop themselves from making good money because they
rationalize it as a negative thing.
For many underearners, these feelings often go back to childhood.
Unfortunately, many people grow up in a home where money is a source of
conflict. Some heard their parent fight constantly about money, and others
lived with low levels of chronic financial stress. One client told me,
“Everyone just knew to never go near dad when he was paying the bills.”
While children may not understand money and the complexities involved in
household finance, they inevitably decide that whatever this money thing is,
it must be bad. They equate money with conflict, unhappiness and sometimes
violence. As adults, these people often want nothing to do with money. This
is not a conscious thing. But unconsciously, matters of money make them feel
stressed and uncomfortable.
I’ve noticed that many underearning clients come from families that were
full of conflict and high drama over money. In fact, many of them come from
families where there was a lot of chaos in general, and often times they
will shut down over financial matters, if they become too overwhelmed by
their feelings around money. These underearners, because of their discomfort
around money, often want nothing to do with finance as an adult, and this
has a direct impact on their ability to make good money. And when people
grow up so uncomfortable with money, they become suspicious of people who do
have money.
In a session with Teresa (not her real name), an experienced therapist, I
brought up the concept of underearning. We discussed the possibility of
raising her rates, to which she was quite resistant. When I asked her what
other therapists in the area charged, her reply was scornful.
“Oh, I know some real big-shot therapists who charge $105 an hour, but I
think there is something unscrupulous about them. I don’t know anything for
sure, but I’ll just bet there’s something going on there. I wouldn’t feel
right charging that much money.”
Although Teresa didn’t actually know of anything dishonest, as she herself
admitted, she was making the assumption that a therapist who makes good
money is somehow doing something wrong. This type of thinking is especially
prevalent among those who have chosen a career in the “helping” professions,
such as teachers, nurses, therapists, etc. Women in these occupations often
have a difficult time charging adequately for their services. The people who
come to them need help; charging those people for providing that help can
seem cold and hard-hearted.
So what are some of the many messages underearners live with? Many of them
are clichés we all know, drummed into our heads long ago by hard-working
parents, and so familiar that we no longer hear them or think about them.
When I ask people at my seminars to brainstorm different messages they heard
growing up, the same ones always surface: “Money doesn’t grow on trees”;
“What do you think I am, made of money?”, and my personal favorite, “There
just isn’t enough.”
Some money sayings are religiously inspired, such as “Money is the root of
all evil.” (However, as many people know, this is a misquote; the Bible
actually says “The love of money is the root of all evil.”) And, of course,
there’s the well-worn parable that pronounces “It is easier for a camel to
pass through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter heaven.” It is
as if our common religious beliefs tell us that money is sinful, and we are
encouraged to wait for the afterlife to experience perfect abundance.
If you want to explore your feelings about noble poverty, take some time to
think about your own money messages. Think for a moment about the house in
which you grew up. What were the messages you heard about money? You may not
even know exactly where some of those messages came from, but you know you
heard them. What did the people around you say about money, and what did
they think of the wealthy? In your family, what was the point of having
money? What were the assumptions about work and the amount of money
different people earned for what they did? What did you learn from your
parents about money that was never said aloud?
As you continue in your journey of overcoming underearning, it is imperative
to make conscious your thoughts and feelings about work and money. Whether
we like it or not, what we think and feel has a direct impact on our ability
to earn enough money. Do you believe money is a positive force in the world
and good people deserve to have money? If not, you may want to look at your
beliefs and begin to create affirmations that affirm the positive aspects of
money and the positive impact money can have in your life.
About the author:
Mikelann Valterra, MA is a financial counselor in private practice who works
with people on day-to-day finance issues and self-defeating money behavior.
Issues range from overspending and chronic debt to underearning and couples
and money. She is also available to conduct seminars on underearning and
breaking the chronic debt cycle. 206.634.0861
www.womenearning.com.
Copyright © 2005 Mikelann Valterra, The Valterra Company, Seattle, WA. USA
Visit http://www.womenearning.com — "Transforming your relationship to money"
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