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Projecting a Great "Paper" Image — NOT
By Jane Watson
Are you tired of being praised for writing clear, concise, well-organized
documents? Are you bored with projecting the image of a dynamic and
knowledgeable professional? If so, here are ten tips to ensure your boss
never speaks highly of your ability to communicate clearly.
Think of some famous writers of classic books, such as Oscar Wilde, George
Bernard Shaw or Mark Twain. Adopt their formal method of writing. After all,
if people enjoyed the style in the late 1800s, they will surely love it
today. And surely good creative writing makes for effective business
writing.
Use really impressive words your readers will have to look up in a
dictionary. This step will force them to become more knowledgeable, and they
will be grateful.
When your boss gives you a writing assignment, think back to school when the
teacher asked you to write essays with a specific word count. Remember the
great mark you got for handing in 1,000 words. Don’t worry about "quality;"
give your boss "quantity." He’ll be impressed with the time you spent on the
project. He won’t mind that other work didn’t get done.
Write lengthy sentences. People are in too much of a hurry nowadays. If you
write long, convoluted sentences, your writers will have to slow down and
spend time trying to interpret your thoughts. They’ll praise you for
reducing their stress levels.
Long paragraphs are good — the longer, the better. White space will just
bother readers’ eyes and detract from all the words.
Don’t waste paper. Squeeze as much print onto the page as you can and reduce
the margins. Think of all the money you will save by not using a second
page.
Choose a small type font. Older people enjoy "playing the trombone" when
they read. It’s great exercise, and they might even gloss over some of the
points you would prefer they not pay too much attention to.
Write about what you know, find interesting, or have a lot of facts on. Who
knows? The reader may find some of the information interesting and relevant
too.
Good customer service is something for face-to-face meetings or the phone.
Don’t worry about it when writing letters. The customer will know you aren’t
really that unfriendly or patronizing.
Don’t bother proofreading your documents – just run a spell check. If the
spell checker allows the wrong words to be used, it’s not your fault. Just
tell your boss you were checking to see if he really reads your
correspondence.
Follow these guidelines and I guarantee your manager will never again ask
you to prepare any documents. Neither will the boss at your next company.
About the author:
©2002, Jane Watson is dedicated to advancing business communications.
She is a consultant, author, keynoter and trainer and can be reached at jane@jwatsonassociates.com
or (905) 820-9909.
www.jwatsonassociates.com
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Karen Porter, The Administrative Professional Job Performance and Career Success Coach™