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Etiquette in the
workplace - Manners That Sell
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Body Language Speaks Louder Than Words
By Lydia Ramsey
Has it ever occurred to you how much you are saying to people even when you
are not speaking? Unless you are a master of disguise, you are constantly
sending messages about your true thoughts and feelings whether you are using
words or not.
Studies show that your words account for only 7% of the messages you convey.
The remaining 93% is non-verbal. 55% of communication is based on what
people see and the other 38% is transmitted through tone of voice. So think
about it. In the business setting, people can see what you are not saying.
If your body language doesn't match your words, you are wasting your time.
Eye contact is the most obvious way you communicate. When you are looking at
the other person, you show interest. When you fail to make eye contact, you
give the impression that the other person is of no importance. Maintain eye
contact about 60% of the time in order to look interested, but not
aggressive.
Facial expression is another form of non-verbal communication. A smile sends
a positive message and is appropriate in all but a life and death situation.
Smiling adds warmth and an aura of confidence. Others will be more receptive
if you remember to check your expression.
Your mouth gives clues, too, and not just when you are speaking. Mouth
movements, such as pursing your lips or twisting them to one side, can
indicate that you are thinking about what you are hearing or that you are
holding something back.
The position of your head speaks to people. Keeping your head straight,
which is not the same as keeping your head on straight, will make you appear
self-assured and authoritative. People will take you seriously. Tilt your
head to one side if you want to come across as friendly and open.
How receptive you are is suggested by where you place your arms. Arms
crossed or folded over your chest say that you have shut other people out
and have no interest in them or what they are saying. This position can also
say, "I don't agree with you." You might just be cold, but unless you shiver
at the same time, the person in front of you may get the wrong message.
How you use your arms can help or hurt your image as well. Waving them about
may show enthusiasm to some, but others see this gesture as one of
uncertainty and immaturity. The best place for your arms is by your side.
You will look confident and relaxed. If this is hard for you, do what you
always do when you want to get better at something - practice. After a
while, it will feel natural.
The angle of your body gives an indication to others about what's going
through your head. Leaning in says, "Tell me more." Leaning away signals
you've heard enough. Adding a nod of your head is another way to affirm that
you are listening.
Posture is just as important as your grandmother always said it was. Sit or
stand erect if you want to be seen as alert and enthusiastic. When you slump
in your chair or lean on the wall, you look tired. No one wants to do
business with someone who has no energy.
Control your hands by paying attention to where they are. In the business
world, particularly when you deal with people from other cultures, your
hands need to be seen. That would mean you should keep them out of your
pockets and you should resist the urge to put them under the table or behind
your back. Having your hands anywhere above the neck, fidgeting with your
hair or rubbing your face, is unprofessional.
Legs talk, too. A lot of movement indicates nervousness. How and where you
cross them tells others how you feel. The preferred positions for the
polished professional are feet flat on the floor or legs crossed at the
ankles. The least professional and most offensive position is resting one
leg or ankle on top of your other knee. Some people call this the "Figure
Four." It can make you look arrogant.
The distance you keep from others is crucial if you want to establish good
rapport. Standing too close or "in someone's face" will mark you as pushy.
Positioning yourself too far away will make you seem standoffish. Neither is
what you want so find the happy medium. Most importantly, do what makes the
other person feel comfortable. If the person with whom you are speaking
keeps backing away from you, stop. Either that person needs space or you
need a breath mint.
You may not be aware of what you are saying with your body, but others will
get the message. Make sure it's the one you want to send.
(c)2004, Lydia Ramsey. All rights in all media reserved.
About the author:
Lydia Ramsey is a business etiquette expert, professional speaker, corporate
trainer and author of MANNERS THAT SELL - ADDING THE POLISH THAT BUILDS
PROFITS. She has been quoted or featured in The New York Times, Investors'
Business Daily, Entrepreneur, Inc., Real Simple and Woman's Day. For more
information about her programs, products and services, e-mail her at
lydia@mannersthatsell.com or
visit her web site
http://www.mannersthatsell.com/
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